To Get Back To You
by cbssoapsgirl
Summary: After Jerry's death, Olivia left the island. When she returns, things have changed between everyone. Can she and Fitz get back to what they had or will it be forever different?
1. Coming Back

"What is it?"

Olivia read the note the man on the boat handed her a few more times before she answered Jake.

"Harrison is dead," she told him still looking at the letter.

"Sorry to hear that. I know you were close," Jake said rubbing her shoulder.

"I'm going back."

"Back? To DC?"

"Yes, I have to go back for the funeral."

"Olivia, is that really a good idea?"

Liv turned around and looked at him. "He's my friend. I have to go back and take care of his funeral. I'm the only family he has."

Knowing there wasn't going to be a point in fighting her on it; Jake stepped back and went to go pack.

After the day flight from the island to DC, Olivia was beyond tired from the jet lag but had to push through. She told Jake to go get a hotel and she would meet him later on. Liv headed over to OPA and pushed the door open. Seeing all the tables covered and the boxes piled on it made it real. She actually left the team and they gave up.

"What are you doing here?"

Olivia turned around to see Quinn standing in the doorway.

"Harrison's dead."

"I know. I'm the one who told you. I didn't think you'd actually come back."

"Only for a few days. Then I'm going back again."

"Is that your decision or Jake's?" Olivia didn't say anything. "That's what I thought. Why'd you take off to begin with?"

Looking around, Olivia bought herself a few moments to think.

"Where is everyone? What happened here?"

"You left. We all waited a week but when you didn't come back they left too."

"Where are they?"

"Huck works at a computer repair. He lives with Kim and Javi. Abby works at the White House. She's sort mad at me for calling her all the time. She's really busy."

"Oh. Call Abby again, tell her to meet you in the garden."

Quinn sent her a text as they both walked out of the office.

Still looking at her phone, Abby went to the garden.

"What do you want super freak?"

"Someone's here to see you."

Olivia walked over to Abby as Quinn walked away.

"You're back."

"We need to plan Harrison's funeral. We need to do this together as a team."

"There's no team anymore, Liv. The team fell apart. Why did you come here, to the White House, now?"

"It's where you work. I was coming to talk to you of course."

"Look, you have to go before he gets back. He's getting better and I really don't need him focusing on anything else. Cyrus has him getting better."

"Getting better? I know he's grieving. I didn't come here to cause a problem."

"Grieving? Grieving! Do you have any idea what you did to him?" Abby screamed at her shooting daggers at Quinn. "I thought you told her!"

"I didn't tell her anything," Quinn shouted back to her.

"You need to go. Now."

"Fine, I'll let you know when the funeral is. Show up, don't show up, I don't care," Liv told her walking away with Quinn. "What did Fitz do now?"


	2. Going Home

"Go home, Quinn. I can take care of myself," Olivia told her walking down the street to her apartment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I've really got nothing better to do," Quinn replied wanting to stay with her.

"I'm very capable of taking care of myself. I'm just going back to the apartment to go through some things. And drink a little. I'll meet you at the office tomorrow afternoon."

Olivia left Quinn on the corner of her street and headed to the place she once called home. She replayed the conversation over in her head that she had with Abby a few hours before. Fitz was better, probably from grieving. He didn't need her to disturb his routine anymore. Fitz was doing fine without her. Since Olivia had left three months before, she wanted to give him time to grieve without think of her. After all, she was the daughter of the woman who killed his son, how could he bear to look at her? How could they make anything work after that? She wasn't going to come back; the plan was to leave for good or at least a couple years and Fitz would forget everything about her.

Olivia pressed the button in the elevator to get to her floor. When the doors opened on her floor she stepped off the elevator and put her key in the lock. Liv was so lost in her thoughts she never saw Tom standing in the corner next to the apartment across the hall. Going inside, she took a few moments to look around. Everything in boxes and covered up except the couch. Maybe she forgot to cover it before she left? It wasn't something she was too worried about. Olivia went into the kitchen pulling out a wine glass from the box on the counter and poured a glass of wine before heading back to her bedroom. Passing by the couch she noticed a red spot on it, darker than wine. Deciding to ignore it, she carried on to the bedroom. Opening the door, Olivia screamed.

"FITZ!" She yelled his name several times but he didn't answer. Liv dropped the glass and ran over to him on the bed. She checked his pulse barely getting anything. "TOM!" If Fitz was at her apartment, obviously Tom was too. He'd never let him go anywhere without a detail. She started to give him CPR the way Huck had taught her to do it.

Counting to ten as she did the compressions, Tom ran into the room with Michael, the new agent.

"Damn it, not again!" Tom yelled. "Call the ambulance. Tell them to be discrete." He pushed Olivia out of the way and did CPR on Fitz.

"Two minutes away," Michael told him.

Olivia stood back with Michael letting the Presidential ambulance get to where they needed to be. They set Fitz on the stretcher and pulled him out the back way to the ally where they parked.

"I'm going with him," Olivia told Tom when he tried to stop her.

"Ma'am now is not the time."

"I AM GOING WITH HIM!" she yelled getting in the ambulance.

Tom knew there was no point in arguing with her anymore and got in behind her.

Four minutes away from the hospital, Fitz started to crash. The EMT started the paddles and charged his heart two times before he actually came back.

When the ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance, they pulled Fitz out and wheeled him up to the private floor. A nurse came out and took Olivia to the waiting room. She sat by herself in the waiting room for several hours before anyone came out.


	3. At The Hospital

"How is he?"

"He's a lot better than a few hours ago," Tom told her.

"What did he do?" Tom didn't say anything. "Tom, I found him on my bed barely breathing. What the hell did he do? I think I have a right to know."

"Ms. Pope, I hate to be the one to say this and remind you. You are not…"

"I am very well aware that I am not his wife. Does she even know where he is? Does she care where he is? What was he doing at my apartment?"

"Ma'am, he's getting better. Or was until this incident. I'm sorry you found him. I should have been keeping a better eye on him."

"He's a grown man, Tom. What has he been doing?"

Tom knew he shouldn't have been telling her anything. He should have had an agent take her out of the hospital but he knew she would never leave.

"Ms. Pope, the President tried to kill himself. The doctor said he took sleeping pills, a lot of sleeping pills."

"Why would he do that?" Olivia asked him as she sat down.

"He probably had his reasons. I'm sure he can explain it at some point. Right now, I think it's best that you go home."

"You're saying Mellie is on her way here?"

"No ma'am, the First Lady still believes the he is… not at the White House."

"She doesn't know he was at my apartment? Isn't she informed on everything of where he's been?"

"No actually, she barely notices him anymore. She was informed that the President left yesterday to go to your apartment and to Camp David."

"Mellie should probably be told that he is in the hospital. She is still his wife and has a right to know."

"Ma'am I think that's a bad idea and something that she cannot handle right now. The First Lady is not in a good place to be dealing with her husband trying to kill himself. I will stay with him over night then he'll be released in the morning and go back to work as usual."

"The man tried to kill himself tonight and they're going to let him out in the morning?"

"That's the plan the doctor ordered. It's the only way to ensure that the Vice President doesn't take office. It will show that the President is weak if he doesn't go back to work in the morning."

Hearing the words Tom said, Olivia knew what was happening. "Where is he?"

"In the hospital room."

"No, Cyrus, where is Cyrus?"

"In the hospital room."

Olivia got up heading to the room, ready to see Fitz and scream at Cyrus.

"Ms. Pope, he's asleep. I can have Mr. Beene come out here if you like."

"Thanks Tom. And thank you for keeping this under wraps."

Tom took off into the hospital room staying with Fitz while Cyrus went to see Olivia.

"Seems as though the amazing Olivia Pope has come back. And seeing that she's been gone for three months, she better have a damn good reason as to why she left."

"I have my own reasons. What the hell are you thinking hiding this from Mellie?"

"You want that crazy woman here?"

"Of course not, but they are married. They've bonded through grieving for Jerry. They're closer now."

"I'm sorry did you just say that they're closer? They've bonded?" He watched Olivia nod her head. "Where the hell have you been? You have no idea what has been going on in that house. Those two hate each other even more. They are never in the same room and when they are, they're there to yell at each other. Mellie walks around the entire White House in a bath robe and boot slippers and pajamas. God only knows when the last time she actually showered was, let alone brush her hair. She sits by herself anywhere in the White House with a damn bucket of chicken and liquor every day. Mellie's drunk before it's eleven in the damn morning and stays that way until she passes out. And Fitz! I don't even know where to start with him. He doesn't sleep, barely eats. He is hardly at the White House when it isn't during regular hours. He stays at Blair House or Camp David sometimes at your apartment. His son died and you left. YOU LEFT! YOU did this to him. He tried to kill himself because of you."

"Believe what you want Cyrus, and trust me, I believe it too. But I'm not going to leave again. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see Fitz now."

Olivia pushed her way past Cyrus and found Fitz's room. Quietly she pulled a chair up next to his bed and got comfortable falling asleep to the sounds of Fitz's heart monitor and his breathing.


	4. Waking Up

Through the night Olivia listened to the heart monitor beep connected to Fitz. He'd been asleep for over twelve hours now which was probably the most sleep that he'd gotten in years. Every half hour or so Olivia would wake up just to hear the monitor. Tom had told his replacement for the night that he would stay until Fitz was awake and they could figure out what was to happen afterwards. He didn't call Mellie to tell her about this accident even though Cyrus thought they should. But no matter what, Tom refused to call her or the agents on her detail. Because the only thing that would happen if she knew was her coming to the hospital and yelling again.

Still asleep in the chair, Olivia had her hand held with Fitz's as she was curled into the chair. Nearly ten in the morning, Fitz woke up looking at the clock and taking in his surroundings.

"You're in the hospital, Sir," Cyrus told him quietly so he didn't wake Olivia. Following the sound of his voice, Fitz looked at him. "You overdosed last night at her apartment. Tom gave you CPR and had the ambulance bring you here."

Fitz nodded and looked over at his hand seeing it with Olivia's. She looked very uncomfortable in the chair next to him but was very much asleep. He took several minutes to watch her. Three months and they never talked once caused him even more pain that losing his son. Jerry's death was a big hurt to Fitz. And calling out Olivia's name and she never showed up, only added to the pain.

After a few minutes, Olivia woke up looking at the monitor in front of her. She noticed that his breathing has increased a little matching her own. Looking over she caught his eyes staring at her. She gave him a smile that didn't come close to her eyes and tried to let go of his hand but he tightened his grip on hers.

"You're here," he whispered barely enough for her to hear.

Liv nodded and moved into a more comfortable position in the chair.

"You're back," he stated still gripping her hand. "When did you get back?"

"Yesterday. I…"

"I don't need an explanation, Olivia. Knowing that you're here is good enough for me for now."

Nodding, Olivia stood up attempting to get out of his grasp. "I'm going to go tell the doctor you're awake and find you something to eat," she told him. Fitz still kept his hand tightly around hers. "I'll be right back." After a few seconds, he loosened his grip and let her go.

Leaving the room, she told the nurse Fitz was awake and went downstairs to the cafeteria.

"Mr. President, glad to see you're awake. Feeling any better?" the doctor asked stepping into the room.

"Much better actually."

The doctor stood next to the bed checking his vitals, doing what he needed to do. "You gave us quite a scare last night. We had to pump your stomach. You might feel nauseous for a few hours but you should be okay. I'd like to keep you here for a little while."

"That's not possible," Cyrus put in. "He's needed back at the White House now. We cannot have anyone knowing that he's in the hospital."

"Mr. Beene, I do agree that he is needed there but for his own safety, I believe that we should keep him here for a few hours."

"He travels with his own doctor. We have a doctor at the White House who can take care of him. If you would please get the discharge papers prepared, I can get the President back to work."

"Cyrus, I have to agree with Jacob on this," Olivia said coming in with Fitz's breakfast. "He should stay here, just for a couple hours of observation."

"Thank you, Olivia," the doctor put in. "Good to see you again."

"Mr. President, I think it's in your best interest to at least stay until noon. Sound okay, Jacob?"

"I'll go for that, as long as he's okay with it."

Fitz nodded attempting to sit up. He looked over to Cyrus and motioned for him to get out.

"Here, I brought you some toast and crackers. The nausea won't be so bad if you eat these. And drink water. I've got to set up with secret service how to get you back to the White House unseen."

Taking the toast, Fitz pulled her down to sit on the bed next to him. "Cyrus can figure that out. You don't have to fix everything."

"It's my job to fix everything. Especially when it comes to you. Tom can help me." Again, Fitz tightened his grip on her hand. "I'll be right back. I won't even leave your sight."

Olivia left the room standing on the other side of the glass door talking to Tom.

"We should be able to get the car around to the back of the White House. We can make it seem like he spent the night at Blair House. We've done it before. Only…"

"Only?"

"That was much earlier in the day. It's ten now, and he's leaving at noon."

"It's lunch time. Everyone will be gone. No one will notice him coming in. We can get him into the Oval like he was working there the whole time. Can your team clear the hallways to the Oval?"

"Easily."

"Good make it happen." Olivia opened the door and went back into the room sitting back down in her chair. "We've got everything worked out. No one will know that you weren't at the White House this morning."

"Is Mellie there?"

"I'm not sure. I can ask Tom to find out though."

"No, it's alright. Just sit here with me. Run out the clock with me. We can run it out together."

Slightly smiling, Olivia nodded letting him finish his food. "Alright, we'll run it out together."

"I missed you."


	5. Promises

"Would you please just stay in the Oval with me for today? I don't have any meetings, just phone calls and reading to do. Please, Liv?"

Fitz had been pleading with her the whole way over to from the hospital to the White House for her to stay somewhere in his line of vision. He didn't want her to take off and not come back for months again. Sitting in the Oval with Olivia eating lunch made it seem that everything could come back to normal quickly.

"I can't stay, Fitz. I have a few things that I need to do."

"Before you disappear again."

"I don't plan on going anywhere outside the city today. Or for a few days."

"Take an agent with you. Take Tom with you."

"You need all the protection you can get lately. You'll just have to trust that I'll be here again. I'm going to finish a few things and then go back to my apartment. I'm going home after I finish what needs to be done."

"You've been out of fixing for months. Clients don't know that you're back. They can last a bit longer without you."

"It's not for clients."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I have to go plan a funeral, Fitzgerald. That's why I came back. Harrison is dead so I need to bury my friend. I think you can do what needs to be done here while I go do my things."

"That's why you came back? To bury Harrison?"

"Yes, I'm the only family he has."

"Okay, can you come back here when you're done? Or I can come over later tonight."

"We'll figure it out later. I'll call… I'll talk to you at some point."

"Olivia," Fitz called her name making her stop just before she got to the door and turned to him. "Promise me that you aren't going to leave the city."

Taking in a deep breath and let it out, she nodded her response. "Promise."

Olivia left the White House getting in the car with Quinn down the street going to the funeral home.

"Did he really try to kill himself?" Quinn asked trying to break the silence.

"I think so. But it's nothing I can't handle. I'll take care of Fitz once this funeral is over."

After a few hours of planning with the director and Quinn, Olivia asked her to go back to her apartment. Quinn dropped her off and headed for home giving Olivia her own time. Looking around the inside of her apartment, she decided it was best to take care of a few things. Liv went through her medicine cabinet and flushed all the pills she had. She took the knives she had and put them in the safe, locking them away. Once she went through the entire apartment she looked at the couch seeing the stain of blood on it. Getting the things she needed, Olivia started to attempt to remove the stain.

"That's not going to come out."


	6. Visit With Dad

"Olivia, I'm serious. That stain is not going to come out."

"It could come out. If I get the right treatment for it, the stain will come off of my couch. What are you doing here anyway, dad?"

"A bird told me that you came back from the island. I thought I'd make sure you got back alright. And to find out when you are leaving again."

"I haven't decided when to go back to the island yet. I have to deal with Harrison's funeral and now with Fitz. Isn't your job supposed to be to protect the republic? How do you think not telling me about Fitz's issues in good for the republic? You should have told me to come back and fix all of this."

Eli handed her a glass of wine and sat down. "His issues are his own; you don't need to fix his problems. You do need to fix your own."

"I have no problems. It seems that any that I did have, you took care of."

"After the funeral, you need to get back on the plane and go to the island."

"No after the funeral, I have to focus on how to fix Fitz. That's my only priority after the funeral. I'm going to bury my best friend and fix my… Fitz. So no, I am not going back to an island anytime soon."

"Olivia, you don't really have a choice in this. You will get on a plane when the funeral is over."

"I'm telling you that I am not. You cannot make me get on to that plane and be sent away again. You do not control me."

"Believe what you will but know that I will send you back with Jake and that's the end of this conversation. Now, what can I do to help you with the funeral?"

"Everything is being taken care of," she told him. Looking at the clock she realized it was way later than she thought. "It's getting very late. I need to be somewhere. You and I can deal with each other later in a few days."

"Fine, enjoy trying to get that stain out."

Once Eli left her apartment, Olivia decided to give up fixing the couch and head over to the White House. Getting a cab over gave her time to think about what she had caused Fitz. The driver dropped her off at the back gate and let her out. At ten o'clock at night there wasn't anyone around. The lights upstairs in the residence were on and she could see Fitz sitting on the balcony above her.

"Am I going to be tackled if I try to come up?" Olivia yelled getting his attention.

Fitz stood up going to the edge and looking down seeing her. "I thought you weren't coming. I thought I may have to send out the military to find you."

"I promised I'd be back and here I am."

"I was thinking of going to bed."

"Then you should go to bed and I'll go back to my apartment. I'll see you tomorrow maybe."

"Spend the night here."

"You know that's not a good idea, Fitz."

"Just get up here."

Sighing, Olivia didn't feel like arguing so she went upstairs to the residence. Fitz met her at the top of the stairs and took her to his bedroom.

"I know you probably have some questions and I want to answer them for you. I don't want there to be anything for you to worry about, Liv. So ask away," Fitz told her sitting down on the bed in his pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"I am so tired of talking to people today. Can we just lay down and go to sleep?" Olivia went to his closet and pulled out a pair of his pajama pants and his NAVY shirt and slipped them on.

"Sure we can do that."

When the sun came up, so did Fitz. He called down to his secretary and had her make arrangements to go to Camp David for the rest of the weekend.


	7. Camp David

"Why are we spending the weekend here?"

"Are you saying you don't want to spend the weekend alone with me at Camp David, Liv?"

Fitz had made her breakfast in bed, had clothes brought over for her from her apartment, and managed to find Quinn's number to cancel anything she may have scheduled within an hour before she woke up. After she finished breakfast, Fitz whisked her away to Marine One going away for the weekend.

"I didn't say that. But why would we spend the weekend here? You do have things that you should be doing and you need to recover from…"

"Recover from what?"

"Never mind, we'll stay here. You can work on speech and I'll find something to do."

"Actually, this weekend I'm not working on anything. I'm only spending the weekend with you. So what shall we do first? We can go to the pool or go on a hike."

"The hikes that we've gone on here never seem to go well."

"Let's make this one different."

Changing into hiking boots and jeans, Olivia went with Fitz to the trail. Walking down the trail for ten minutes, they stayed in uncomfortable silence. Olivia stayed side by side with Fitz trying her best to keep up with him.

"Fitz."

"Liv."

Both started to try to say something at the same time.

"You go first, Fitz."

"Why did you leave? Where did you go? How could you just disappear like that?"

"I thought I was doing what was best. You didn't need to deal with me when Jerry just died. How could you have even looked at me after what she did to him? And you needed to grieve with Mellie. I thought if I was out of the way, it would make things easier for you. Honestly, why would you want to see me when my mother was the one who killed your son?"

"You're the one that I needed!" Fitz screamed at her. "You are the one that I called for in the Oval. I didn't want Mellie, I wanted you! I needed you, Olivia! I didn't need Mellie to help me grieve. You left. You're always running away when you should be staying here working through all the issues that we have together."

"How do you work on an issue when your son just died? What do you want me to do Fitz?"

"I want you to stop running. I want you to stay with me and figure out how we are going to actually stay together."

"Fine we can do that. We'll find a way to work together. To be together. But there are so many things that stand in our way."

"Not really. My divorce is really the only thing in the way."

"Mellie, Cyrus, your presidency, my parents. Wait, your divorce? What are you talking about?"

"I am getting a divorce. Mellie and I are getting a divorce. We can't stand each other anymore. You thought that Jerry's death would bring us closer and really all it did was make us hate each other more. I'm so tired of her running around the White House in a damn robe and carrying bucket of chicken around. I know she's grieving and I am too but come on. Seriously, you have other commitments. She's the First Lady. No one has seen the woman in anything other than dirty set of pajamas in months. We're getting divorced, Livie."

"That doesn't change anything. You need to finish your presidency. You cannot just divorce your wife and start to date me or whatever it is you think you're going to do."

"Who says I can't?"

"The entire world, the Republican Party, oh and me."

"Stop thinking about the optics and think about what you want for just a minute."

"What I want is for you to finish the presidency."

"I will with you by my side."

"You're missing the entire point, Fitz," she told him walking away down the trail.

"So what is the point?"

"The point is that people will not approve of you divorcing Mellie and just starting to date me. Especially since people believe that you and I already had a relationship before. Thank you for that, by the way."

"Thank me? What did I do?"

"I know that you're the one who leaked my name to the media. Thanks Tom!"

"Olivia, I can explain that."

"Really? You can explain why and how you tried to ruin me? Do you have any idea what you did?"

"I was trying to protect you!"

"That is always your excuse! You put agents on me to protect me. You have them take me out of my house to wherever it is you are to protect me."

"I did leak your name to protect you. Mellie was going to hold it against you. She was using your name as a weapon and I couldn't let her do that to you. So yeah, I told Tom to tell that woman about you."

Olivia gave up trying to talk reason to him.

"You're doing it again!" Fitz yelled at her as she kept walking.

"Doing what?"

"Walking away! You should be standing here figuring out how to fix this with me instead of leaving me here."

"Fine, Fitz. How do you suppose we fix our issues?"

"Go to therapy with me."


	8. Therapy

"I cannot believe I let you talk me into going to therapy with you. I don't have time for this kind of thing."

"Liv, I am the President, I have time for this. So make time for this," Fitz told her watching her pace around the residence. "You're here; you aren't leaving so stop pacing."

"Fitz, come on. We don't need therapy. We've always come to terms with our situation without anyone's help, this time will be no different."

"Therapy is helpful actually. Dr. Griffin is amazing at his job. I can discuss anything with him and he helps me through it. He also thought that if you would came to a session he'd be able to understand me a bit more."

"You talk about me in therapy? What the hell?"

"Dr. Griffin thinks that you are the main reason that I need therapy."

"Thanks, Fitz."

"I'm just saying what he said. Therapy could help us. You could even stop run…"

"Don't you dare finish that."

"We can talk about that inside with Dr. Griffin. I think this will be beneficial to both of us. Let's just see where this gets us."

"I'm leaving, Fitz. I…"

"Hello Mr. President," Dr. Griffin walked into the residence. "Ready to begin?"

"I've told you before, I'm Fitz during sessions. And Olivia's here too."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Pope. I'm Dr. Eric Griffin. I've heard so much about you."

"I'm afraid to know what you have heard," Olivia said shaking his hand. "Sounds as if you have been telling Fitz that I am his main problem."

"Well I can't say for sure about that. But we can discuss that today. Where are we starting today, Fitz?"

"I want Olivia to move in here with me."

Olivia turned around facing Fitz unsure of what to say. She knew Fitz needed her but she couldn't actually move into the White House without a lot of problems being caused.

"What do you think about that, Olivia?" Dr. Griffin asked her trying to get a read of what she thought.

"You haven't thought this through, Fitzgerald. That is what you want to happen but you have yet to think of the consequences of that happening. Mellie has barely moved out, I cannot move in."

"I know that. But I need you here."

"Believe me, I know you need me. I found evidence of that."

"What kind of evidence?" Eric questioned. "What did you find of proof that he needs you here with him?"

Olivia looked over to Fitz waiting for him to respond. It wasn't her place to say anything about the suicide attempt he tried when she got home from the island. Fitz stared back at her wanting to avoid that conversation but was getting nowhere.

"Liv," Fitz started.

"No. You aren't going to 'Liv' your way out of it. Do you have any idea what it's like seeing you like that?"

"How is that any different from you getting hurt by Jake?"

"Because you were causing yourself the pain. You're the one who tried to kill yourself. I walk in and find you laying nearly dead on my bed and it's all because I left."

"Fitz, you didn't tell me Olivia walked in finding you at our session. I didn't know she was back in DC then."

Olivia looked between the two men who seemed to be having a conversation between them and Fitz was looking quite pissed off.

"I'm sorry, did I miss something?" she asked them.

"You didn't tell her?"

"No I don't think she needs to know. She walked in, she handled the situation, and she's back. Everything is fine and it won't happen again. I have her."

"But you could lose her," Eric reminded him. "You two have a very complicated relationship. If she leaves again, what are you going to do? Are you going to try and kill yourself _AGAIN_?"

"I'm not going to lose her. With Mellie gone, we can be together like we've always planned. We can move to Vermont and have kids and make jam. That's the whole plan. We're in this together now."

"Not everything is certain though," Eric said. He watched Olivia for a moment seeing her looking a bit confused. "Olivia, do you have anything that you want to say?"

Raking her mind, Olivia put pieces together of their conversation. She looked down at her hands still facing towards Fitz and asked her question. "Did you try to commit suicide before I came back?"

Fitz looked over to her, turning his body towards her. He took her hands in his and forced her chin up to see him. "None of that matters. You're back now."

"Did you try to kill yourself before I came back?"

"Olivia, that's done. I'm still here and I'm with you. I think we need to focus on that."

Ripping her hands away from him she had to know. "How many times?"

"Livie," she cut him off again.

"HOW. MANY. TIMES?"

"Olivia…"

"Damn it, Fitz! How many!"

"You walked in on the third time," Fitz answered her.

Olivia ran her hand through her hair. She didn't say anything to either of them. She was pissed off about his suicide attempt but even more pissed off at herself for leaving. If she didn't leave he never would have tried to do that. This was her entire fault. Olivia knew she should have been there for him but she wasn't.

Standing up she went to leave but Fitz grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

Fitz tried to tighten his grip on her but she forced herself away from him and left the Residence.


	9. Pacing

Olivia ran out to the Rose Garden leaving Fitz with the doctor in the Residence. She paced around the bushes in circles more concerned about Fitz than she ever had been. What was he thinking trying to kill himself? How could he do that to her? How could he do that to Karen and Teddy?

Fitz sat with Eric in the Residence wanting to forget about the session and go find Olivia.

"What are you thinking," Eric asked him.

"How fast can I get to Olivia? Where is she? How pissed off is she? How do I fix this?" Fitz answered.

"What if Olivia doesn't forgive you? Or she can't get over this? Do you know what you'd do?"

"Olivia is the one I can't live without."

"So how do you think you're going to fix this?" Fitz shook his head thinking about what to do. "How have you fixed your issues before?"

"We've fought many times and it usually ended up with either me going over to her apartment and we yell at each other or I have agents pick her up and bring her to wherever I am and we yell there. After the yelling we're back together and everything is fine."

"How long have you two fought before?"

"Our longest fight was ten months."

"That's a while. How'd you fix that?"

"I dragged her into a closet at our goddaughter's christening and… well let's just say I screwed that one up big time."

"How are you going to fix this one?"

"If I find her, I'll be able to talk to her and fix this."

"Do you know what you're going to say?"

"Not a clue. I'll wing it, I guess. This session didn't go as planned. I'll see you next week, same time. Thank you, Eric."

"My pleasure, Mr. President. I hope everything works out with you and Olivia. See you next week."

Once Eric left the Residence, Fitz went to find Olivia. Truly, he had no idea what he was going to say to her. What could he say that wouldn't make the situation any worse? On the way out of the Residence Tom told him that Olivia was in the Rose Garden. Fitz went down to the garden standing on the balcony watching her for several minutes before he decided to bite the bullet and do what he had to do.

"You're going to have a moat made around those bushes with all that pacing," Fitz told her making his presence known.

Olivia stood still for a moment staring at him frowning. After a minute she kept walking in the circle ignoring him.

"You are the one who left, Olivia. You left…"

"Do you really believe that you need to remind me of that? I know I left! I was giving you space to grieve without the reminder that I am the one who is related to the woman who killed your son."

"You didn't have to leave for me to not have a reminder. I will always have a reminder of that. I had Maya Lewis killed. I had your mother killed. Every time I think I got justice for my son I am immediately reminded that I had your mother killed. And I have to live with that every day."

"She took Jerry from you and I can't stop thinking about that. The one person that I love had his son taken away by my mother. By my blood."

"It's just another thing we have to live with. That's all this is."

"Why did you try to kill yourself three times?"

"Because you left. You left without saying anything to me. Or to anyone. And you took Jake with you. You left!"

"THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU KILL YOURSELF!" she yelled at him. Olivia ran towards him and started hitting his chest as hard as she could. "YOU DO NOT GET TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!"

Fitz grabbed her wrists stopping her from hitting him. "YOU LEFT ME!" he yelled back at her. "What the hell am I supposed to do when you aren't anywhere to be found?"

"Not try to kill yourself!"

"No one knows where you are and you don't call or text or even email when I NEEDED you," Fitz screamed. "So you have no right to judge me when you left first."

"I didn't try to leave life!" Olivia pulled her hands away from his grasp and took a step back looking at the ring she had on. "Everything is supposed to be okay as long as I have this ring on. If I have it, you know that I'm somewhere out in the world and you're fine. Even if I don't love you, everything is fine. What the hell kind of promise is that when you're trying to kill yourself!"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Olivia."

"How did you try to kill yourself the first and second time?"

"I took Mellie's hooch and drank three bottles of it at your apartment. And the second I tried to slice a vein open at your apartment."

"So that's where the blood stain on my couch came from."

"I was going to have that cleaned before you came back. If you ever came back."

"No point, I just bought a new couch. Fitz, do you know what you've done to us?"

"I didn't do anything to us. You caused all of this. I needed you and you left, all this is your fault."

"Don't you dare put all this on me! I never told you to attempt suicide that was you Fitzgerald. Why isn't the secret service doing their jobs? They are supposed to protect you and as far as I'm concerned that means from yourself too."

"I didn't want them in your apartment. I wanted to be alone so I told them not to come in."

Olivia walked around the rose bushes as Fitz sat down on the steps.

"Fitz I can't be your babysitter. I can't be there to make sure you're breathing every five seconds. But I can't be responsible for your death."

"I cannot live without you, Olivia."

"You cannot do that to me, Fitz. You can't make me stay so you don't die. That is not fair."

"Liv please, I need you with me."

"I think you need to get some things figured out before you can really be in any relationship. I'm glad you're in therapy, Fitz. I think Dr. Griffin can help you. So I'm going to go and give you some time."

Olivia headed up the steps through the Oval with Fitz chasing after her.

"Livie please, we can make this work. You're all I have left, I need you, don't leave."

Turning around in the hallway, she looked at how sad he was. He would try anything to get her to stay with him.

"I can't have to worry about you all the time. I do have to worry about me. Right now, neither of us is ready to get into a true relationship and make it work. We need some time apart and then maybe we can be together. We've tried for so long to be together we never really thought of how hard it was to actually be together. So let's give it time and we'll see where we get."

"Olivia, I am begging you not to go. I don't think I can take you leaving again."

Liv wiped her eyes trying to hide her crying. "I'll make you a deal. I will not leave the city if you won't try to harm yourself. We can talk on the phone, maybe have lunch once in a while but we do need our space to figure things out. After a while, we can figure out where we want ourselves to go. Whether it's together or not, we'll find out."

"I will do anything as long as you stay with me," Fitz begged her nearly on his knees in the middle of the deserted hallway in the West Wing. "Please, Livie."

"I will call you tomorrow, Fitzgerald."

"You promise not to leave the city," he asked unsure of what else to do. Either way, Olivia was leaving the White House if he liked it or not.

"As long as you promise not to harm yourself."

"I won't. I swear."

"Then I'll be in DC." Olivia walked towards him and kissed him before she left. At the end of the hall Tom stood listening to the conversation. Quietly, she turned to him getting his full attention. "Someone needs to be watching him every minute. Do not leave him alone."

"Yes ma'am."


	10. Two Weeks

"Fitz you cannot keep calling me like you've been."

"You said we could still talk, Olivia. I need to be able to talk to you."

"Yes you can still talk to me," Olivia told him sitting down across the table from him for lunch. They had been able to make their schedule work so they could have lunch together every other day for the past two weeks. "But you can't call me every other hour like you have. We need our space to figure things out. You need to go to therapy and work your issues out with Dr. Griffin and I need to work out myself."

"I know, you're right. It's the only way that we're going to get back to being us. I just miss you. There's never been a time since we met that I couldn't come over to your apartment or have you come to the White House. It just feels like we're ending this."

Olivia twirled her fork through her pasta and looked at him. "I believe there were ten months that we didn't speak."

"That was different."

"Imagine it's like that again."

"I can't do that."

"Fitzgerald, we have lunch every other day. I call you when I wake up and before I go to bed. You call me every two hours throughout the day and we talk for ten minutes. It's not healthy for us to keep doing that."

"And your suggestion is?"

"For two weeks we go without and phone calls or lunches. No messages through Tom or Cyrus. No flowers or sending me lunch."

"Nothing, no contact?"

"No contact. I think it will work for us. We'll be able to go through everything that we need to go through and think about what we really want. After two weeks we can have dinner and talk about what we really want from each other. Then we can go from there."

"You think it's possible to go fourteen days without any contact?"

"We've done it before."

Fitz knew she was right. They'd gone without any contact to each other for several months at a time. But this seemed like a different time. This time they'd be getting back together for good.

"And no agents trailing me," Liv added.

"But Olivia…"

"It's not negotiable. We have not contact and no agents trailing me. Not even Jake."

"And you aren't going to be talking to Tom or David? Cyrus?"

"Cyrus is my friend but we will not talk about you if we do talk. And Tom and David I won't talk to. It'll help us get what we want, Fitz."

Fitz finished his food before he said anything else. He took every moment to watch Olivia, memorizing her again.

"In two weeks we'll meet in Vermont. I'll have Marine One take you there and we can talk. Two weeks without any contact and you won't leave the city and I won't try to kill myself."

Olivia nodded and finished her food. "I'll agree to that. I don't plan on leaving the city unless I have a client who needs me to. But I won't leave the country."

"Good, thank you."

Pulling money out of her purse, Fitz put his hand on her wrist stopping her. "I got this."

Getting up, Liv was about to walk away but turned around and kissed him hard. "One minute." He stood up, still kissing her and pulled her to him.

"I'll see you in two weeks."

"Two weeks."


	11. Visit Liv

"We forgive you."

"Hi, hello, how are you? And I didn't ask for your forgiveness," Liv told them stepping aside to let Cyrus and Abby in. "What are you doing here?"

"Like she said, we came to forgive you."

"What do I need your forgiveness for? I didn't apologize."

"For leaving us. And not telling us you were going to leave the country. So we forgive you."

Olivia walked into the kitchen grabbing a full bottle of wine. "Whatever it is you two have really come over here for is probably going to require a lot of wine. Spill it, what do you want?"

"Why is Fitz going to therapy every day and…"

"Nope, no, there will be no talk of Fitz today. Or for the next ten days. No talk of him, okay?"

"Then what are we going to talk about?" Abby asked.

"Your work. How are you two doing at the White House? Anything spectacular going on?"

"The usual. Arguing with the democrats, trying to sign bills, arguing with Cyrus."

"It's not as bad as she's saying. We've just had better days. Can we ask why you left? Or is that staying a mystery too?"

"I needed some time to myself and that's it. Time away does all of us good. Gives us time to think about what we really want."

"Fine. So what's for dinner?"


	12. Fitz's Therapy

"So how are you doing today, Fitz?"

"I've had much better days. I think this two week thing with Olivia is helping clear my mind," he told Dr. Griffin.

"You haven't talked to her at all, have you?"

Fitz shook his head no. "I've picked up the phone to call her just to tell her something but I always hang it back up. I'm not going to break our arrangement. I miss her a lot though."

"I'm sure you do. But it is healthy for you two to have some space. If you're overcrowding her or her to you, it can affect many aspects of a relationship. And with the relationship that you've described to me between you and Olivia, you don't need any more problems there. If you and Olivia decided at the end of your two week arrangement that you didn't want to be together, what do you think you would do?"

"That's not going to happen."

"Maybe not for you. I know you want to be with her, but what if she decided that she doesn't want to be with you? How would you handle that? What would you do?"

Fitz thought about it for a few minutes. He never thought that Olivia wouldn't want to be with him. They'd been together for so long and gone through so much, would she want to continue and actually be together? Or would she give up the fight? What did he want to do if something did happen like that? Fitz crossed his arms and went deeper into thought before answering.

"IF Olivia didn't want to be with me I would do as she asked. I would try to convince her otherwise, probably even beg if needed but in the end I would leave her alone. I want what is best for her and if she thinks that us not being together is what is best for her, then I would try to work through that then."

"Would you want to be friends?"

"Yes, I would want to be friends, but I couldn't be."

"Why not? Even if that's what she wanted?"

"I couldn't be friends with Olivia if we weren't together. I kills me seeing her with someone else when she is mine. Even if she's just talking to one of her coworkers, I want to jump in and know exactly what's being said and know that she's okay. I want her to be happy but I can't watch her be happy with someone else, especially Jake."

"Isn't that a little hypocritical?"

"How?"

"Olivia's watched you be happy with your kids and Mellie for six years. She's seen you fake being happy with Mellie and go to parent teacher conferences for Jerry and Karen. Olivia's even seen you have a baby with Mellie. All while she was standing on the side waiting for you. You can't show her the same?"

Fitz was irritated knowing that he was right. "Having Teddy was Olivia's idea," he snapped.

"You could have said no."

"No I couldn't have. She and Mellie came up with the plan to have Teddy. I was outvoted. I never had a choice."

"So you bowed down to your wife and her again."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Dr. Griffin put his pen down on top of the notebook he had. "You let them control your life. Between Mellie, Cyrus, and Olivia you don't have a say in what goes on. You didn't have a say when your father was making choices for you to become President. You let everyone run your life. You had every chance to say no to Mellie about having another baby. You had many chances to divorce Mellie and go to Olivia but you never took them."

"I wanted to leave Mellie and go to Olivia. I wanted to kick Mellie out and move Olivia in."

"Why didn't you?"

"Olivia said…"

"Olivia told you not to. It seems to me that Olivia's been running the show for a while now. What do you think you should do about that?"

Leaning back, Fitz thought about what he could do. "I can't make her do anything. Olivia Pope does what she wants and listens to no one. There's no other way."

"You've had her dragged out of her home to the woods to see you. I do believe she has a weakness."

"And she's mine. I could tell Mellie no a million times but once Olivia says otherwise, that's the way it goes. She's my weakness."

"So if Olivia said she didn't think you two should be together what would you do?"

"I'd give her one last kiss and tell her goodbye."


	13. Still Breathing

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry to ruin your evening, Liv, but I thought it was crucial that we talk again."

Liv stepped aside and let Dr. Griffin in. "It's nearly ten. This couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"No, I'm sorry. I just got out of a session with Fitz."

"I don't think you should be telling me this. Doctor patient confidentiality. Or did you forget about that?"

"I didn't forget, he gave me permission to talk to you about things. Just not about certain things."

"Is he in danger of harming himself again? Or hurting one of the kids?"

"No."

"Then I do not need to know. Fitz and I will figure out our things separately and work together to fix them in a few days."

"Do you know how you want this to play out? Have you made up your mind if you want to be with him or not?"

"I don't know yet. I have many of my own things to work out. Fitz and I do have separate lives and separate issues away from each other."

"But ultimately, do you want to be with him?"

"Of course I do. I just don't know how we're able to manage our issues together. We'll figure something out but it's going to take more work than we've ever had to put into our relationship. But we always end up together. And that's the plan. When we meet in Vermont on Friday we'll talk everything over and possibly even fight but we'll still be together."

"Good, that's what I needed to hear."

"Needed? What did he do?"

"Fitz didn't do anything. It's just… you two look great together and seem to make a perfect couple. You are his other half and he needs you. And you need him to, Liv. I think that's why you and I never worked out."

Olivia took a drink of her wine and answered him. "We were both invested into our jobs and we didn't want to give up. That's why we didn't work out, Eric. And because you're a therapist and…"

"You don't need therapy. I know, I've heard it a thousand times."

"Fine. Thank you for acting like we don't know each other. I'm not sure how he'd react about you and I as a couple."

"Well that was over ten years ago. We're very much over." Eric watched Olivia nod in agreement and put his jacket back on. "I'd just like to make sure that Nichols does not become President. Think we can help him with that?"

"As long as I'm breathing, Fitz is too."


	14. Reunited

Getting off Marine One on the Vermont property seemed like a dream to Olivia. She could see Fitz standing outside the patio doors waiting for her in his jeans and Navy shirt. He looked a little nervous to see her but very happy.

"Hey," she called over to him nearly running towards him. She stood in front of him and smiled before leaning up to kiss him. "Hi."

"Hi. It's freezing out here, let's go in."

Walking in she felt a whole lot warmer. Fitz helped her take her coat off and set it on the couch.

"Have you decided?"

"Right to the point, huh? Have you decided?"

"I decided. But I want to know what you think first."

Olivia sat on the chair next to the fireplace and started to explain. "I've thought about it a lot for two weeks. With everything that we've gone through for the past six years, I'm not sure how we can make it. There's always been a problem for us to work through. How are we supposed to be together when everything is fine? There's always been Mellie or Cyrus or the media standing in the way of us being together. How do we work when there's nothing in the way? But I gave it a lot of thought and I honestly believe that we can make it work. It may take a ton of therapy for both of us and a lot more communication than we've ever had to use before. We can make it work if we tried hard enough."

"We've had two weeks apart and came up with the same conclusion," Fitz told her. "It will take a lot of work to get through our problems but after a while, we won't have any problems to deal with. There won't be anything standing in the way."

"Mellie. She's the mother of your children and…"

"She won't be a problem. We're divorced and we have a custody arrangement."

"Fitz, she hates us being together. She'll fight us."

"Mellie isn't going to do anything. She's getting better from Jerry's death. And back to… Mellie normal."

"So she isn't a problem anymore?"

"No, she's out of the way. And I've dealt with Cyrus, he's not a problem."

"You've already divorced Mellie?"

Fitz nodded handing her a box out of his pocket. "I know you said you didn't want a traditional wedding or a wedding at all. Neither of us is traditional. Nothing about us has ever been what was planned on being the normal life. So I have it arranged just like you wanted."

"Who all knows?"

"Cyrus, Karen, Abby, and Tom. I thought you would want to tell your team yourself. Friday this week we'll come back up here and have a private ceremony with the people we want there and we'll be married."

"How is it you think of everything?"

"I'm very good at my job."


	15. And It Feels So Good

"Sit still or I'm going to stab you with the pin, Olivia!"

"If you get blood on this dress I will kill you!"

Olivia sat still for a moment allowing Abby to get the dress hooked. Taking a look in the mirror, she couldn't believe that she and Fitz were actually getting married. Liv never wanted a big wedding for them, just enough to say they had witnesses and a certificate. That's all that really mattered anyway. Her ivory floor length evening gown fit almost perfect. She had picked out the dress several years ago in anticipation for her wedding. Since then, she had lost some weight and the dress didn't fit quite right. Either way, Olivia looked perfect in the gown. Abby fixed her hair after she straightened it and pulled back the sides curling it.

"There! Now you're ready."

Karen came in and saw how amazing Liv looked and stood by the door. "Amazing, Liv. But, Dad says if you don't hurry up he's going to come up here and drag you down there himself."

"Tell him that it takes a while to look this amazing and I've waited longer than him."

"I heard that!" Liv heard Fitz yell from outside the door. "Two minutes or I'm coming in."

"Just go downstairs and wait for the Justice."

"He's waiting on you."

"Blah, blah, go."

Olivia listened to Fitz stomp down the stairs before she put her shoes on. When she was ready, Abby and Karen went downstairs and outside to the orchard were they were getting married. Liv took her time getting there. When she came into Fitz's sight, his jaw dropped at how beautiful she looked. She had a glow around her that he'd never seen before.

When she got up to the tree where he was standing, he took her and hand kissed it. "Ready Mrs. Grant?"

"Of course, Mr. Grant."


End file.
